Deepening April 13, 2012 Journal (1)

Although.i am translating for the Process this time, life still graciously show me aspects of myself and showers Grace on me, even though I may not see that it's Grace at that moment.

Today is "Process Day" again.

As usual we leave our campus at five am. I have been suffering from fever for the past two days, so I could barely got up. But since I already took one day off (and had to miss Bhagavan's Darshan) and finally last night's Deeksha made me feel I am finally well, I was pretty sure I have to go to work today.

But I could barely make it downstairs...my whole body was aching and complaining. Fortunately today the translator from campus three was there. She appears to be quite understanding...actually the first thing she said when she saw me this morning was: "Are you ok?!" From her facial expression I already knew that I have her sympothy. I then leave her and the rest of the group in the hall, and carry my bag, my folding chair and myself to somewhere outside.

The day was beautiful. The Sun has yet to arise. The sky was blue, with a few strokes of white clouds. There was breeze. I felt tired and sore, yet my spirit was content.

I try to figure out where would be a good place to rest. I don't want to rest on the porch like last time, because 1. It makes me look like a homeless person 2. The speakers in the hall are very loud so I would still hear the sound outside. Plus there was that rude security guard chasing us relentlessly last time...it was like he finally got a chance to use his whistle. Anyway, I wanted to be under the sky. I decided to lie down in front of the Temple, on the right side.

I walked there and straightened my fold up chair so i can use it as a mini mattress. I lie down there on the ground. My body felt happier instantly.

I gaze at the sky. In one moment, it looked like the sea and it was as if I was going to fall into it. I could not tell which is up, which is down. It was like I was in Heaven and looking down at the ocean.

Then a thought came: " even if I die now, I am content." I did not expect it, but it was there. I started thinking it would not be bad to die in Oneness Temple. In fact, I am sure it is a very auspicious place to die.

By now I was feeling like I know all the bricks and stones that the ground is composed of...I even feel that we all agreed to come and meet here one day. They are familiar. They are family.

I did not fall asleep, but I got peace.